You-Me-Us

A connection between two people is actually three entities. For instance if you and I were friends there would be the “you” entity, the “me” entity and, where we two overlap and bond, the “us” entity. You are responsible for you and I am responsible for me and we are responsible for that part of our lives that overlap and influence each other.

I like to represent this you – me – us triad as two overlapping circles with a shared common area between them. The overlapping “we” area is often referred to as a vesica piscis revealed in many varied disciplines from science to religion. I just think it is an excellent depiction for our purposes here.

You and I have our separate lives. We are individuals beyond our relationship but when we come together we create a synergy far greater than the sum of our individual lives. The “us”, the vesica piscis, is a vibrant, seething, presence which is created when we merge and it can live long after we separate in the moments and the memories of all those we have touched.

So what we bring to a relationship is of ultimate importance. If you and I come to take from each other we create a wounded vesica piscis, distorted by our own cravings. Those distortions are amplified many times over and are ultimately damaging to us and all that we touch. If one of us comes to give and the other take the vesica piscis is healthier but still wanting. You can look at giving and taking like waves which interfere with each other. If the positive waves are more numerous and stronger they will neutralize the negative waves and vice versa. But when both of us come together with the idea of giving the vesica piscis miraculously transforms into an ocean of love. (I define love as the coming together of differences to create harmony.) And out of this love new and wonderful worlds are created.

When we enter a relationship aware of Eufeeling giving is the natural result. It really is quite amazing and yet the most natural experience two people can have. We are losing the ability to give effortlessly and unconditionally. But that is easy to fix. It is after all our natural state of being. We need only let our essence mingle and merge with the essence of others. Then, awash in the waves of mutual love, turn to the next waiting heart.

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